There was a guy on the train today with a magnificent handlebar moustache. It was big, black and waxed to perfection. As I left the train I complimented him on it, and he smiled and thanked me for the kind words. It went without saying that my compliment meant a lot to him because I am an accomplished beardsmen and I know what I’m talking about when assessing one’s hirsute credentials.

I always appreciate it when someone compliments my beard and why wouldn’t I? It wasn’t this magnificent overnight, and I take pride in it. What I can’t stand though is someone telling me the obvious. I’ve had people approach me and say something to the effect of “Hey, that’s a big beard ya got there!” There’s nothing worse than someone saying something stupid and obvious and not being able to reply “no shit.” Or better yet to mock their stranglehold on the obvious with a sarcastic “thanks, I hadn’t noticed!”

Although, there is a small possibility that I am being too hard on these individuals. Perhaps upon seeing my (or any) magnificent face forest their capacity for eloquence is momentarily interrupted. If that is the case then I certainly owe them an apology for thinking them simple dumb bastards.

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