Has anyone reading this (assuming anyone in fact is reading this) heard of Pizzagate? For those of you unaware Pizzagate is…Jesus, where do I even begin? Well, its a conspiracy so that’s a start. Pizzagate alleges that Comet Ping Pong, a Washington D.C pizzeria, is in fact a den of depravity. Specifically, the base of a child abuse ring masterminded by none other than Hillary Clinton and her campaign manager John D. Podesta.

I’m going to come right out and say I think this is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard, and I will get into specifics eventually. However, in the spirit of objectivity I will admit that I suppose there is a chance its true. Fuck it why not right? There are few things I love more than a good conspiracy even if its as deplorable as this one.

However, in my humble opinion Pizzagate doesn’t…pan…out. The internet is full of dumb crap that can’t be substantiated, and this is just the latest example. The owner of Comet Ping Pong was once in a relationship with a former right-wing journalist who supported Hillary’s presidential campaign. Now unless this is your first time going online (if so I’m both flattered and humbled you found my blog) you know how petty the internet can be. Fake news is rampant to put it mildly so why should this have legs?

Something else to consider at least tangentially is that there are influential politicians who are pedophiles. Does the name Dennis Hastert ring a bell? He was speaker of the house AKA third in line to be president AND HE WAS DIDDLING KIDS! I guess the point I’m trying to make is this was one dude and he got caught. Yet there is a shadowy cabal of people doing the same thing and it was unearthed by the internet? I don’t think so. I’ve seen episodes of Scooby-Doo with more believable schemes.

Rich and powerful people have been known to harbor some weird secrets though (secrets deeper and darker than Vin Diesel‘s love of Dungeons and Dragons), and as stated earlier I could be wrong. I doubt it but stranger things have happened. For instance I never expected to see the Chicago White Sox win a world series.

Finally, a confession. I’m checking out Comet Ping Pong this weekend. A friend of mine and fellow conspiracy enthusiast is visiting from out of town gives me the perfect opportunity to investigate. I also plan on eating there. I mention this because if this story does turn out to be true I’ll probably feel guilty about having visited. Also, if during my visit I uncover anything that proves the Alex Jones crowd right I’ll publish it here first.

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