Listen guys, Pizzagate is blowing up. If you’re anything like me (God forbid) you’ve been following this story closer than Q does P. In all seriousness though of all the weird things I’ve seen on the internet lately this has been…topping…the list.

Yesterday a gunman named Edgar Welch strolled into the pizzeria armed with a rifle with the intent of liberating the child sex slaves supposedly imprisoned within. However his campaign didn’t quite…pan…out due to a lack of prepubescent concubines on the premises.

This should come as no surprise to anyone but Welch’s failed commando raid was inspired by nonsense on the internet. It was been reported that Welch has a history of posting anti-Muslim videos with enlightening titles such as “Bible prophecy and the Coming Muslim anti-Christ” and “A Message to President Obama from a former Muslim” (Source) to social media. Online radicalization is a method commonly used by ISIS and Al Qaeda although something tells me that irony is lost on this guy.

I realize I am not painting a very pretty picture of this individual (I haven’t even mentioned that he’s collected a DUI and hit a 13yr old with his car…whoops, I just did!) but that’s not really the point. Personally I think he’s an idiot, but maybe I’m supposed to think that. You see if the internet is to be believed he’s just a patsy!

Yes folks we’re delving back into conspiracy. A thousand pardons if you thought this was a straight laced blog post about the news of the day. The latest turn in the Pizzagate saga hinges on Welch’s past as an actor! According to his IMDB page Welch helped produce smash hits “The Mill” and “A Tale About Bootlegging”, and starred in the modern classic “The Bleeding.” He even lent his writing chops to the transcendent short film “Mute.”

Now unless you’re a soldier fighting the InfoWars you might be asking yourself what the hell does this have to do with anything? Well the answer to that is his acting credentials point towards this being a false flag! A false flag is a covert operation designed to deceive the public into thinking an action was carried out by anyone beside the true perpetrator (homework assignment for all you Human Zoo super-fans go to Wikipedia and read the entry about Operation Northwoods).

Do I believe any of this? Not particularly. At best it all sounds like the plot to a…cheesy…movie. Unfortunately it is playing out in real life.

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2 thoughts on “Pizzagate III…Return of Pizzagate

  1. I think all those whacky conspiracy folk (lol) are getting a shit load of material to work with these days. Maybe there’s a reason behind that.

    Like

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