OK gang this is the second of a two part series about the Super Bowl that has nothing to do with football. Today’s installment focuses on the halftime show and its sinister message.

I don’t normally watch the halftime show because its usually some pop act I could care less about and/or some over the hill group clinging desperately to their last little bit of fame. However I was intrigued by Lady Gaga’s performance because there were rumors something provocative would happen. My sources (read: stuff pulled from internet black holes) led me to believe anything from a nip slip to a protest directed at our newly inaugurated orange god king could take place. This intrigue combined with general laziness kept me glued to my seat throughout.

But nothing happened! She sang. She danced. Her performance was scandal free unless you count the revelation she did not in fact jump off the roof of NRG stadium.

At least that’s what I thought. I say that because I was online earlier and apparently Alex Jones, a man whose pineal eye is wide open, saw things quite differently. According to him Lady Gaga put on a performance for the ages…if you’re a satanic globalist that is! Jones warned subscribers not to watch her show because she is a daughter of Satan and part of the New World Order (and not the mid-to-late 90s pro-wrestling faction). Unfortunately I am now under the thrall of this meat-wearing bride of Beelzebub because I didn’t get his warning before the show.

Anyways if you’re interested in learning more you can watch the video here. My favorite parts are as follows:

1. This quote “I squat on top of you and basically piss on you”

2. When he refers to the Texas state capital as a giant breast




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