Hey gang. Here’s another fun story about my Navy daze.

Once upon a time there was a scrawny little weirdo who was on the same ship as myself. This guy had the physique of an opium addict, and normally I wouldn’t make fun of someone for having an emaciated little body except he would wear skin tight Under Armor compression shirts to highlight his emaciated physique. On top of his scrawny body was a perfectly spherical chinless head decorated with a clipped push-broom mustache.

He reminded me of an 1840s gold prospector. Whenever I would see him I imagined him wearing a red long-johns and jumping in the air while clicking his heels together.

Well one day I was walking behind this character down a p-way (p-way is Navy speak for hallway. It stands for passageway) while he was fumbling around in his wallet. Something fell out but he didn’t notice and I picked it up. It was a business card for a website called RR Panties. My attention was piqued and I had to know more. I caught up to the guy to return his card and set out to get to the bottom of this mystery.

I returned to my office and called my friends who did IT work on the ship. I sure as shit wasn’t about to look this up under my work account. A few minutes later they got back to me. Turns out RR Panties was the website of two girls who were selling their used undies to creeps like this guy.

Now, I want to go on the record as saying to each his own, but what the fuck? As gross as it is we live in a society where you can freely buy someone’s used underwear, but do you really need to be carrying around their business card in your wallet?

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