Ok so have you guys heard the controversy about the live action Beauty and the Beast film? Apparently Gaston’s sidekick LeFou will be openly gay and people are PISSED. Now when I say people I mean the Alabama movie theater that is refusing to show it, Russia where the movie will be given an adult rating, and other troglodytes too numerous to mention. Here are my thoughts on the matter:
1. This is a Disney movie which means it will make an absurd amount of money regardless. If Disney made a movie that had a character poop on the American flag and it grossed a zillion dollars I wouldn’t be surprised in the least.
2. This is probably not the first Disney production with a gay character. Here is an annotated list of other Disney characters who were conceivably gay: Iago the parrot, Mr. Smee, King Louie, Jiminy Cricket, Ursula, Mrs. Beakley, Dodger, and 1/4 of the puppies from 101 Dalmatians.
If you’re reading this and confused because I’m just listing random characters that’s. Gay people are just faces in the crowd folks. THEY COULD BE ANYONE AND ANYWHERE!
3. If anyone of you plan on boycotting this movie because it has a gay character I feel it is my duty to inform you you’re also going to need to boycott plenty of other things. Reading this on a computer? Well I have bad news for you about Alan Turing, a pioneer in the field of computer science. Love Apple products? Oh boy, you’re gonna have to throw out your iPhone when you hear about their CEO Tim Cook.
In all seriousness this is one of the stupidest forms of fuckery known to man. If you went out to eat at a restaurant and found out the chef was gay would you go in the bathroom and induce vomiting? There are gay servicemembers are you going to give up enjoying the freedoms their sacrifices provide? What if you found out the cardiologist who saved Grandpa’s life last summer was gay? You wouldn’t kill Grandpa would you? WOULD YOU?!?!?
4. Finally I have to point out how disturbed I am by people being angry about this character’s orientation but completely OK with the bestiality overtones. Also, no one seems to have a problem with the candelabra Lumiere trying to fuck a feather duster.

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